


After such knowledge, what forgiveness?

by orphan_account



Series: Multiamory March 2016 [15]
Category: Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: F/F, Multiamory March
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-03-15
Updated: 2016-03-15
Packaged: 2018-05-27 00:06:22
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6261250
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Multiamory March Day 15.</p>
            </blockquote>





	After such knowledge, what forgiveness?

When Natasha releases all of SHIELD’s databases onto the internet, she knows it’s the right thing to do. She knows that she may well be damning herself in the process, and she’s okay with that too. Well, not really, but there’s nothing to be done. She knew this would happen someday, she just didn’t want it to happen so soon. 

What scares her just as much is something she didn’t expect. She knows that as soon as she’s pressed that button, she’ll likely lose Pepper and Maria. She doesn’t expect them to forgive her for what she’s done in her past, and she doesn’t think she would deserve that forgiveness anyway. Maria knows a fair bit more than Pepper does, but neither of them have read anything in graphic detail. 

They come to see her in the hospital when she’s recovering from her gunshot wound, but they appear to be acting normal. Natasha assumes they haven’t read any of it yet, and savors this time while it lasts. She knows that it will come to an end all too soon. 

Time passes, though, and Maria and Pepper continue to act normal. She almost  _ wants _ them to read it now, to get it over with. It would be like ripping off a bandaid, and she’s tired of waiting and dreading it. So one night, she asks them about it.

“How come either of you haven’t left yet?” It’s a crude way of asking, but Natasha’s worked herself up in knots about this. Maria’s face morphs into a sharp frown, and Pepper looks hurt. Natasha wished she had thought about that more.

“What do you mean?” Maria asks.

“My file. Once you read it, I am fairly sure you won’t want to be around me anymore,” Natasha says, her voice a little dull. Pepper shakes her head, setting her hand on Natasha’s. Natasha blinks in surprise, wondering when the other shoe is going to drop.

“We decided not to read it. Your past is your past,” Pepper says. “The woman I am in love with goes above and beyond to save people, and to try to make amends. That’s all I care about.”

“We’ll read it if you want us to, but it’s your choice. This isn’t for the two of us to decide,” Maria says. Natasha is struck speechless, and she wonders what on Earth is making these two stick around, much less love her. There will never be a day when that doesn’t astound her. 

“I did horrible things,” Natasha murmurs, looking down. “More horrible than you’ve imagined, probably.”

“But you make amends, and you’ve saved so many people. You’re a hero, Natasha. Even if you don’t believe it.” 

She doesn’t believe it, not now. But maybe, with help from Maria and Pepper, she will one day.

 


End file.
